Strategies to deliver what to do, not so much why to do it.
Building self-confidence and inner security on your own can seem nearly impossible, so for today we are ditching the heady theoretical neuroscience to break down 6 quick tips to improve self-confidence entirely on your own. It’s science-based but we focus on the actionable.
You’ll discover how this handful of practical steps can vastly improve the way you feel internally and the way you carry yourself externally.
Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott co-host this show to bring the science of relationships to the world in an accessible and practical format!
In this episode, we discuss action, not theory:
- Tip 1: Sit up – Focus on your posture, pull your shoulders back and bring your body up. Breathe in and think of standing like a soldier, not collapse like a rag doll. This alone can bring a cascade of new internal experiences. Try it.
- Tip 2: Make eye contact even if scares the shit out of you – Look straight ahead, lift your head up and make gentle eye contact with anyone around you, whether you know them or not. Eyes produce gabba and oxytocin. Try and actually see others. Gently hold it with those you know and those you don’t, meet them. Experiment!
- Tip 3: Don’t be creepy w/ this one, esp if coupled with the two above 🙂 but practice a tiny, gentle internal smile – This smile is mostly internal but it will relax your face and actually evoke calming neurotransmitters that signal safety in your body. (And signal availability for others to approach you. Cool perk!)
- Tip 4: Go slower – Slow down your metronome. If you’re speaking rapidly, you’re broadcasting your internal state probably anxiety or pressure. Take a breath and slow down. You’ll end up speaking more directly and come off more confident. Sue presents her “1-3-5-7” scale for approaching someone and navigating an impromptu conversation. Stay engaged and don’t do what most people do and give up after your first approach.
- Tip 5: Learn to ground or center yourself, use the tree method. Become the trunk not the branches, have roots. Become aware of the present moment. Who are you inside yourself? Can you feel that?
- Tip 6: Prepare and practice – These things won’t be natural unless you actively implement them on a frequent basis and you can practice them pretty much anywhere. You can actually make your brain calm down by taking a deep breath and relaxing your body over a twenty second period. Let your brain do a hertz sweep to see how you are
doing and fake relax, this will signal your body that it is actually safe to really relax. 🙂
Want different perspectives related to this episode?
Enjoying the podcast? Then you’ll definitely enjoy this previous episode as well! It’s neuro-nerdy, but if you are up to it, and especially if you want IN DEPTH training on psychology and attachment, click here: Treating complex trauma and attachment with Dr Daniel Brown
Like what we are doing for you and the world? Please….
Become a TU Supporter and get more in-depth content (FOUNDING MEMBERS CAN JOIN FOR ONLY $1 A MONTH):
Many of you have expressed a desire to get more in-depth content and we believe we have a found the answer! Become a Patreon member and, depending on level, you can have access to a private feed with deeper content and more access to us, as well as support our ability to continue to provide fresh content to many across the globe that may not otherwise have such free access. Go to Patreon.com/therapistuncensored and sign up today. We would be so grateful for the support!
Join the Conversation
The easiest way to dive in is to like our Facebook – it’s an active page and there is even a private FB community where you can discuss directly with other listeners. Also, we do a bit on Twitter if that’s how you roll! And you can find a couple forays into videos on YouTube if ya can believe that?
Finally, join our email list through the front page of our website (this gets you access to our private FB group if you want to sign up for that group).
Don’t Miss a Podcast –
- Subscribe to Therapist Uncensored on any podcast player, there are TONS but here are links to a few: iTunes, Spotify Android Google Podcast (this means episodes are downloaded automatically to your podcast player)
- You can even listen with your partner or family via Alexa or Google smart speakers… how cool is that?
Want to help but not necessarily join patreon? Simply rate and review us on your podcast player or recommend us on our FB page, it helps get the word out about this free, labor of love resource which will help us attract the very best and brightest guests to keep us fresh!! Bye for now!